Broken Memories
by The Lynx Wearing Eyeliner
Summary: It has been 6 years since Sasuke's death, 6 years since Naruto has seen Sakura. 6 Years since That Night. Naruto has been broken ever since, but when a mission to another country leads him to cross paths with his old teammate, will he finally learn the truth of why she left? And what surprises are in store for him if he does?
1. Chapter 1: Broken Memories

_"Sasuke…. No…. please…."_

The words she had whispered deep in sleep, back then, on that long ago night. The words that haunt my dreams, alongside the images of the suffering and death I've witnessed. The words that reminded me she could never be mine. Not really.

It had been six years ago since that night. And it had been five years, ten months, six days since I last saw her. I know exactly how long it has been because I count every day that goes by without hearing her voice, or seeing her face in my mind. I still don't really know why she had left.

I was 19 then. Now, at 24, I still can't bring myself to let go.

My alarm clock started beeping. Time for another mission. Another mission without her.

As I make myself a breakfast of toast and instant ramen, I think that should probably be grateful that at least it hadn't been like it was with Sasuke. She didn't run off and become a rogue ninja or anything.

She told the hokage that she was resigning, packed her things, and said goodbye to everyone. Well, everyone but me. The only goodbye I got was in the form of a letter that she gave to Sai to deliver to me after she was gone.

So now, Kakashi Sensei and are the only remaining members of the original team seven. Sasuke died and Sakura left. Somehow I managed to lose both of them.

What plagues my thoughts even more often than Sakura's words That Night, or the image of Sasuke lying dead in my arms, was what would have happened if I had succeeded in bringing Sasuke home. If I had won that fight at the Valley of the End all those years ago, then Sasuke would never have stayed with Orochimaru, he would still be alive. That Night never would have occurred. Sakura would still be here. We'd all be together. The way they we're supposed to be.

Some days I deal with the guilt fine. Other days it's a chore to even go through the motions. Today is going to be one of those days.

I step outside into the blinding light of the day, and begin heading over to the usual meeting place Sai, Kakashi sensei and I use. Not that I'll see Kakashi for a while yet. Whatever else has changed, sensei's tardiness hasn't. _"Kakashi sensei, you're late!" _

_"Sorry you guys, I got lost on the path of life."_

I smile slightly, and gave a small chuckle. It was always one excuse or another with Kakashi sensei. An old lady needed help, a cat was stuck in a tree, or the old standby he got "lost on the path of life". Naruto had long since learned that sensei really spent hours every morning at the KIA memorial stone, where the names of his team mates and sensei are carved. Obito Uchiha, Rin, and Minato Namikaze. His sensei was the yellow flash of Konoha, the fourth hokage, but also my father. I still don't know why Kakashi sensei and Pervy Sage kept my parents identity from me for so long, but it doesn't bother me. I'm glad I got to briefly meet my parents at all.

"What's funny, Naruto?"

I turn "Oh. Hey Sai. Just thinking of Kakashi's dumb excuses. How are you?"

"Fine. Yourself?"

"Eh, so so." I grin. Though my cheerfulness is completely fake, it's more believable than the pasted on smile Sai used when we first met.

"Not too long, probably." Sai replied "I ran into him on the way here, and he said he would try not to be too late."

"Yeah right. I've heard that before." Another fake grin. Just keep smiling. Just keep pretending you don't want to die.

_"Naruto. I need you."_

"Naruto?"

"Buh?" I zap back to reality.

"Are you okay" Sai says, looking concerned.

"Yeah. Just spaced out there for a second." I say, blowing it off.

"Hello you guys." A voice said from behind me.

"Kakashi sensei, you're late!" I yell, more out of habit than annoyance. "So what's today's mission?"

"Guarding a precious artifact while it's on display in a museum in the land of Mountains. Shouldn't be too hard." He answered "We'll only be gone a few days while the item is on display."

"Alright, let's go." Sai says.

As we start out of the village gates, I stop.

_"Naruto, this…. is the request of a life time…."_

"Naruto. Hey Naruto!"

I snap back to reality. Kakashi is shaking my shoulder, and Sai is once again looking at me with a concerned expression in his eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay? You keep spacing out", says Sai.

"I'm fine, really. Just tired."

The trip to the land of mountains is a long one, so we decide to camp out once the sun starts setting. We find a small cave in the side of a cliff face. Kakashi and Sai fall asleep pretty quickly, but I can't stop tossing and turning.

_"Naruto…. Is he…. Dead?"_

Sigh.

Eventually I just give up and go sit by the fire, staring into the flames. For what seems like the ten thousandth time, I take the letter out of my pocket. It's the letter Sakura gave to Sai to deliver to me.

_"Dear Naruto…."_

I fold it back up, deciding reading it again is pointless. It won't help me understand why she left me like she did, and every time I read it again it just brings on a fresh round of pain.

"Can't sleep?" I hear Kakashi sensei's voice behind me.

"Huh? Oh, no…."

I see him staring at the letter, not saying anything. Only Sai and I know about the letter, I never told anyone else. I stuff it in my pocket.

"Naruto, how many times are you going to read that? It's not going to change anything."

I start. "Holy crap Sai, don't sneak up on me like that."

"I was walking normally. You must be really spaced out today if you didn't notice." He replies, taking a seat by the fire with us. "It's been almost 6 years Naruto. Sakura isn't coming back."

"I know that." I snap. "Sorry, I just…."

"Then are you ever going to tell us?" Kakashi asks.

"Tell you what?" I say, confused.

He and Sai exchange a look, and finally Sai says

"Naruto, are you ever going to tell us what happened between you two before she left?"


	2. Chapter 2: Revealing the past

Chapter 2

Sorry I didn't have author notes last time, I'm still getting used to uploading. Anyway, I just wanted to say that the reason some of the grammar/tenses in chapter on were a bit off was because I started writing in third person, and when I changed to first person I forgot to fix some things. Sorry!

I freeze. Tell them what happened?

_"Naruto please, I need you."_

How am I supposed to do that?

_"Let's just forget any of this ever happened."_

They are my teammates. No, they are my family. They deserve to know.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Okay. I'll tell you."

Kakashi sensei and Sai look at me expectantly.

"It started after Sasuke died. When we returned to the village with his body. We were broken, haunted by the images of his death. All we could think about was how if we had found the battle with the rogue ninja earlier, we might have been able to save him."

I tense at the memory.

_"Goodbye…. Naruto…. I'm sorry…."_

_"SASUKE!" I scream as his eyes close. His blood is on my hands. All over me. The kunai that was lodged in his stomach is on the ground by my feet_

I have to keep going.

"It was the night we returned. After we brought his body to the Anbu to be examined, we parted. I should have stayed with her, but I went home."

Even now I can feel how hopeless I was that night.

"A few hours later, Sakura came to my house. She was tears, and all of a sudden she kissed me."

I brace myself to say the next words.

"I…. not to give too many details, we slept together."

I see Kakashi and Sai's eyes widen at this. It's clearly not what they were expecting.

"The next day she tells me to forget it ever happened. Then she avoided me like the plague outside of missions until she left."

We are all silent for a while after that.

"So" Kakashi starts "she never told you why she left?"

"No. She didn't even say goodbye. She just had Sai deliver a letter to me. It didn't tell me anything. Not why she left or where she was going. I mean, yeah it was awkward, but she came onto me! And then she tells me to forget about it! Like nothing happened!" I say, getting angrier by the minute. I've never told anyone this before.

"She must have regretted her decision." Says Sai quietly, looking deep in thought.

"The she shouldn't have done it in the first place." I spit "She knew I was in love with her, and she used me. I don't know if I was a tool to forget her grief or what, but she chewed me up and spit me out and left me in the dust."

"Naruto, she probably needed comfort. She needed somewhere to channel her anger." Says Sai.

"Then she could have gone and screwed Lee or something. I bet he'd be more than willing. He's liked her for years."

"She chose you because you were her friend. You shared her grief." Replies Sai.

"Yeah, well, friend or not she still abandoned me. Now you guys know. I'm going to bed."

I stand up and head to my sleeping bag. Strangely, I quickly fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next day we head out early and get to the village in the Land of Mountains around noon. We are not needed to guard the item for another few hours, so we have some time to relax. We go our separate ways, and I decide to go see if there is a ramen shop nearby.

I'm walking through a small market in the center of the village when suddenly I hear yelling.

"Het kid, you can't take that without paying! Get back here!"

"Make me, losers!"

Someone slams into me from behind, and I turn around.

"Hey are you okay?" I say looking down. The one who slammed into me is tiny, a little kid.

"Uh, yeah, thanks."

The person looks up. It's a little girl with bright blonde hair, green eyes, and whisker like marks on her cheeks. Funny, except for the eyes, she looks a lot like me.

Out of nowhere I hear more yelling.

"Koyumi, you'd better get back here before I tell your mom what you've been up to! I don't think Ms. Haruno would be too happy to hear about this!"

No. I can't have heard that right. No way. Just a coincidence. Ms. HARUNO!?

Sorry, short chapter, but I thought this was the best way to end it. It's probably pretty easy to guess to Koyumi is, but oh well. Hope you enjoyed, please R&R

-Lynx


	3. Chapter 3: Finding a Family

There is no way. There is absolutely no way. He couldn't have said that.

All of a sudden there is a very angry looking shop keeper coming towards me and the girl.

"Koyumi, get over here!"

"Eeep!" The girl cries and starts to run away. I grab her by the shoulder.

"Koyumi, give me the fruit you took, and I won't tell your mom what you've been up to."

The girl looks indignant for a moment, then pulls an apple out of her pocket and gives it to the man.

I tap him on the arm.

"Excuse me, but did you say her mother's name is Ms. Haruno?" I say, trying to hold back the shaking in my voice. "Would her first name happen to be Sakura?"

"Hm?" He looks up "Why, yes, I believe so. Do you know her?"

Still trying to keep my voice steady I say "Yeah. I mean yes. I think so."

"Well, that's just great." Says the shop keeper. "You're a ninja from the Hidden Leaf, right? We were told you would be here to guard at the museum. Since you know Ms. Haruno, could you take Koyumi home for me? I don't want her getting into any more trouble."

"Oh, I, um…. Alright, I guess." I want to find out where Sakura is, and who this girl who is, apparently, her daughter is. I turn to her "do you know the way to your house?'

"Yeah"

"Okay. Let's go." I start walking, and the girl runs ahead.

She starts walking on the rocks lining the path.

"So… Koyumi? Have you lived in this village a long time?" I ask. I want to try and get information from her.

"Yup. Mom came here before I was born." She replies. "She used to live in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. She tells me stories about it all the time."

"I see. Is your mom married?"

"No." She says "It's just me and her."

"What does your mom look like?"

"What, are you some kinda perv or something?" She turns around to look at me, her eyes partly joking and partly suspicious.

"What? NO! I was just wondering." I decide to switch to something less personal, as not to creep the girl out. "Why did you steal from the shop keeper?"

"Oh, that's easy. His son made me angry." She says this almost aloofly.

"What did he do?"

"He made fun of my dream." She stops, and looks up. "One day, I'm going to go to the Hidden Leaf village. I'm going to be a ninja." She turns around and looks at me full in the eyes before saying "And then, one day, I'm going to be the greatest Hokage ever. The best!"

She grins, and the setting sun turns the light around her golden. That's when t hits me. Her hair, her face, the way she acts. It's me. A young, female version of me. But still. Me.

"Koyumi…. How old are you?"

"Huh? Five. Why?"

"Just wondering."

She's the right age. Heh. So, Sakura, looks like someone's been keeping secrets. All this time. Is that why she left?

"Hey, mister, you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." I've been standing here, probably with a dumb look on my face. We start walking again. Is she really who I think she is? She must be.

"You've never met your father, right?" I'm not going to tell her I'm her father, but I want to find out what Sakura has told her. "Has you're mom told you anything about him?"

Not really." She replies. "She told me that they were team mates and he was a great ninja. And that he would probably be Hokage someday. That's another reason I want to go to the Hidden Leaf village. I've always dreamed of meeting him. I want to know what he's like."

So she doesn't know anything. Damn it Sakura, don't you know how much it hurts to not know anything about your parents?

"We're here." She says. "It looks like mom's home. Do you want to come in?"

"No thanks, I've got to go. Maybe I'll see you around some time." I am going to come back, but later, when I can talk to Sakura alone.

"Okay, well, bye" Nice meeting you!" She says, smiling.

"Yeah. And, Koyumi?" She looks at me "Don't tell your mom about me, okay? It'll be our secret."

She grins "Okay! But you have to buy me ramen some time!"

I arrive at the museum early, only to find that Kakashi and Sai are already there.

"Hello, Naruto. Have a good time in town?" Asks Sai.

"I think I found Sakura."

He and Kakashi stare at me, looks of shock on their faces. I tell them what happened.

"So… you think you have…. a daughter?" Asks Kakashi slowly, like he can't quite believe what he is saying.

"Yes. I need to speak to Sakura before we leave this village."

"Go." Says Sai.

"What? I have to guard here, I can't just leave."

"Naruto, we can handle things here. Go find Sakura." Says Kakashi.

"I… alright. Thank you."

I take off. It's dark by the time I reach Sakura's house. I muster all my courage and knock on the door.

"Hello? Who's there?"

The door opens, and I find myself staring into the green eyes I have missed for so long.


	4. Chapter 4: Love and Lies

_Okay, a few things I don't think I've mentioned. I haven't even gotten to the part of the story where Sai is introduced, so some of this is based off clips, amv's and spoilers. Sorry about things I may have gotten wrong. Secondly, some of the story is a little off, as I changed small details to fit the fic. One last thing. To any super die hard narusaku or nothing fans, you may not want to read this. I'm not a Sakura hater, and I'm a narusaku fan, but this fic is probably not gonna go in a happy narusaku direction. You've been warned._

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

We are both silent. She's staring at me like she doesn't believe I'm really there. I guess Koyumi held up her end of the bargain.

"N..n… Naruto?" She chokes out "How? Wha-"

I cut her off with an embrace "I've missed you. Oh god I've missed you so much Sakura." I know I should probably be angry, but that can come later. I pull back. She looks much the same as she always has, except her cherry blossom hair is a little longer then I last saw it.

"Naruto what are you doing here? How did you find me?" She says, still looking baffled.

"Koyumi."

She freezes at the mention of the child's name.

"Can I come inside?"

She nods slowly.

I walk inside and she leads me to a small dining table in the kitchen.

"Tell me the truth, Sakura. Is Koyumi my daughter?" I ask, though I already know the answer.

"Yes." She replies, not looking at me.

"So why did you leave? Why did you hide her from me?"

"Why? Oh, gee, I don't know Naruto, why do you think? I was young. I was scared. The one person in the world I had ever truly been in love with died right in front of me. You pick a reason."

"Well, no need to get snippy at me." I can already tell that this is going to be a less than pleasant reunion. "Don't you think that maybe I would have liked to know I have a daughter?"

"Call me crazy, but you weren't the first thing on my mind at the time." She says, almost sounding spiteful.

This pisses me off. "No? Why not? Because I'm not Sasuke? I bet he would have been first on your mind if you had gotten knocked up by him."

"Naruto, don't you-"

"Oh, save it Sakura. Didn't you ever think that maybe Koyumi would want to know who her father was? Didn't you think that not knowing part of her family might affect her in some way?" I'm getting angrier now. The joy of seeing Sakura again is being overcome by the anger over what she has done. "I loved Sasuke too, but I didn't run off and abandon my friends and family because he died."

She almost looks guilty when she says "I couldn't have loved you Naruto. It would only hurt us both."

I stand up suddenly "Couldn't have loved me?" I say quietly. I slam the side of my fist into the wall "COULDN'T HAVE LOVED ME!?" I glare at her. "I never asked you to love me. Not once. Not when we were little, when you fawned over Sasuke all the time. Not when we were teenagers and you still loved him more than me when he tried to kill us both, and came pretty god damn close to succeeding. Not when you used me and threw me away to help you with your grief, or whatever the reason was. I never asked you to love me. Not one fucking time."

"Naruto, stop…."

"No. Tears and sad eyes and _"please Naruto"_ aren't going to work this time around. You had your chance. What I want now" I look her right in the eye "is my rights as a father. I don't care if you come back to the village. I don't care. What I do care about is being a part of Koyumi's life. Being allowed to see her and spend time with her. She wants to be a ninja. I could give her that chance."

Sakura's head snaps up "I don't want that girl to have anthing to do with ninjas. I don't even want her to learn the simplest taijutsu. Nothing."

"That's not you choice alone to make." I say. "Tomorrow I'll be back. I'm going to tell Koyumi who I am. No matter what you want."

I leave before she has a chance to respond.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

It's past midnight by the time I reach the inn we are staying at. I can see lights on in our room. Sai and Kakashi must have taken the guarding in shifts. I get inside and open the door. Kakashi is there.

He looks up from Make Out Paradise when I come in. "Naruto! You're back! What happened?"

My intention was to remain calm. Just tell them the basics of what happened. But I can't. Staying composed in the face of a deadly battle is nothing compared to trying to suppress my emotions now. I try to suppress the shaking as I sit on my bed, facing Kakashi, but before I know it, I've broken into heavy sobs and tears are pouring down my face.

"Naruto? Naruto, what happened?"

I tell him what happened with Sakura. He seems taken aback.

"I…. I never thought that she would do something like that. Although I can understand why she wouldn't want the girl to be a ninja, after what you guys went through. What are you going to do?"

"Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to Koyumi." I reply, slowly regaining my composure "I have to tell her who I am."

"I see." He pauses "Tell me about her."

"Huh?" I say, confused.

"Tell me about Koyumi. You met her, right? What is she like?"

I smile slightly. "She's beautiful. She looks just like me, except for the color of her eyes. They're green like Sakura's. Apparently, Sakura told her stories about the Leaf Village, and that's why she wants to go there and be a ninja. She even said she wants to be Hokage. And she loves ramen. Sound familiar?"

Kakashi smiles. "She sounds just like you did when you were little."

"Yeah!" I grin. And a real grin this time, not a young Sai like fake grin.

I explain the whole thing to Sai after he returns, minus the sobbing.

"Well" he says "Let me know if I can help in any way, and I will."

"Thanks, Sai."

Maybe, just maybe, with the help of my friends, I will be able to pull this off.


	5. Chapter 5: Confrontation

Chapter 5

_I know this is late! I'm sorry! I've got school, and I'm figuring out the Beta system. This chapter made me so happy to write because it's not a slit your wrists fest!_

_This chapter is dedicated to Deadman19, IshiHatake23 and sakura216 for offering to help me edit! I'm agnostic, but I bless you guys theoretically. I got confused with stuff, so you guys didn't get to see it._

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxo_

The next morning, I hide outside Sakura's house until I see her leave. After I'm sure she's gone, I go up to the house and knock on the door.

"Hello? Who's there?"

"It's me, the ninja. From the other day."

"Are you a stranger?"

"Wha- no, we met yesterday!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure! Open the door!"

"Okay…. But if you try to kidnap me I'll hit you!"

"I'll keep that in mind. Now OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

The door swings open to reveal a grinning Koyumi.

"Hey it is you!"

"That's what I was trying to tell you! Can I come in?"

Her brows furrow. "Well…. Mom said not to talk to you anymore…. But she's not home, so whatever!"

She lets me in, and I sit down on a cushion in the living room. Koyumi bounds over to me, holding a photograph. It's the team 7 group photo from when we were genin.

"Hey…. Is this you?" She says, looking up and down at the photo and me.

"Yeah. Koyumi…"

"So you ARE a ninja! That is so cool! What's it like?"

"It's…. look…."

"So do you, like, have to kill bad guys? Have you been in fights? What abou-"

I cut her off "Look, Koyumi I need to talk to you."

"Talk to me?" She looks surprised. "Why?"

"I was your mom's team mate. That's who she said you're father was, right."

She's looking hesitant now, but she slowly nods "Uh-huh."

"It's me, Koyumi. I…. I'm your father."

She stares at me for a minute, then grabs my hand and drags me to the washroom and shoves me in front of me mirror. She then stands beside me and stares intently. Then, a huge grin spreads across her face.

"It IS you! You're my dad! Daddy! I've always wanted to see you!" She shouts, leaping into my arms.

"Koyumi…. I'm sorry honey. I'm sorry I wasn't here before. I didn't even know about you until yesterday." I hold her tightly, relishing the feeling of my child in my arms.

She looks up, still grinning, than frowns. "Hey…. If you're my dad, tell me your name!"

"Huh? Oh right! My name is Naruto Namikaze Uzumaki." I had decided to adopt his father's last name.

"Wow…. That's a long name! Naruto, like, the stuff in ramen! Do you like ramen?"

"Like it! I live on it! In fact, if you get to come to The Hidden Leaf Village with me, I'll take you to Ichiraku's. They have the best ramen in the world!"

Her eyes grow wide. "In the WORLD?"

I laugh. "Yep! In all the places I've been, I've never had any better. Believe it!" I laugh even harder, pulling out my old catchphrase for the first time in over a decade. It seems appropriate. "Do you have any good ramen places around here?"

She nods. "Uh huh. Real close."

"Well, why don't we go there to get something to eat and get to know each other?" I say.

Her face lights up. "YEAH!" She yells. "Mom's helping this old lady today or something, so she won't be home for a while."

"Okay" I smile "let's head out!"

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Kakashi POV

_"It's okay Sakura. Nothing is going to happen to Sasuke."_

I snort at the memory. I knew it wasn't true, even then. But what was I supposed to say when my student was in front of me looking like she was about to shatter into pieces?

I walk through the small village. It's nothing much, just you're normal place in the countryside. Why would Sakura choose to come here, of all places? She was a skilled medic ninja. She probably could have been successful in any hidden village. Or even be a large scale doctor in one of the bigger towns. But maybe that's exactly why she chose this place. To lie low. Get away from all that. Naruto said she didn't want her child to be a ninja, and I can understand why, after what they went through with Sasuke.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a flash of pink, and I follow it quickly. When I catch up I tap her on the shoulder. "Sakura?"

She stiffens and turns around. "K-Kakashi sensei! So you're here to."

"Uh huh. And I think you have some explaining to do missy. Running out on your sensei like that." I eye smile with the visible part of my face, but my tone is icy cold.

She stares at me for a moment, and then says "Let's walk."

We walk in silence for time. "So, are you going to tell me why you Naruto's daughter from him for six years?"

She glares at me "I told Naruto already. I couldn't have loved him back."

"That's not the real reason." I lift my head band and look at her with my sharingan eye showing. It seems to help convince people to tell the truth. "Just because you didn't love him doesn't mean you had to his family from him."

She stops. "Fine you want the truth? I didn't want to be reminded of Sasuke. And every little thing in that god damn village made me think of him alright? Including the people. You and Naruto more than anyone."

"So you ran away."

She glares at me, indignant.

"Don't look at me like that Sakura. No matter how you spin it, the truth of the matter is that you ran away from your problems."

"You don't understand! You have no idea what it's like to lose the one person in the world you love!" She yells.

"Of course I do Sakura. Don't be stupid. I had to kill the person I had a chance of love with using my own two hands." A pang of pain goes through my chest at the memory "but I kept on going. I didn't leave everything and everyone behind." I sigh. "And losing Sasuke doesn't excuse you from your actions."

She looks up at me, tears welling in her eyes. Six years ago, that might have affected me, but not now. Not after what she has done to Naruto, who has already suffered so much.

"He went so long with no family. Did you ever think of that? He had no parents. Not even friends for a long time. He was always alone. He was hated by the people he was protecting. You never returned his feelings, and he never got over that. He might have, if you had bothered to think about someone other than yourself and have the guts to stick around." I'm getting angry now. It's so rare that I let my emotions show like this, but I can't stop.

"Will you all just leave me alone?!" She cries "I left so I wouldn't have to deal with this! I'm sick of pain and heartbreak and god damn ninjas!"

"I never did understand why you chose to take the path of a shinobi. I figured it was to chase Sasuke, but even so you never had the drive the rest did. So when he died I guess you really just thought it would be best to give up." I say "But you should have understood that the path you chose came with heartbreak."

"None of us understood! None of us could have known what it would be like! Did you know when you became a shinobi that you would end up watching your entire team get killed? Were you prepared to murder the girl who loved you?!"

"True enough." I say "But it shouldn't have taken you so long figure the whole thing out. Even you were never that oblivious."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She snaps.

"Sakura, for almost all the time I knew you, if it didn't have to do with Sasuke you didn't really care. You valued him above all others. Connections you had with other people always ended up having to do with him. You were completely oblivious to how others felt. Like Naruto. You almost always ignored his feelings until they were of use to you. When Sasuke left you asked Naruto to bring him back, when Naruto was in the land of iron and you pretended to be in love with him. When you slept with him and left. I've come to understand that it all led back to Sasuke. Even your training with Tsunade. Your ultimate goal was always just to get him back." I say. I watch emotions fly across her face. First anger, then embarrassment, and finally sadness.

"I…."

She looks past me into the restaurant behind me.

"What the hell? What is he doing?"

I look behind me. Inside sit Naruto and a girl I assume is Koyumi, laughing and, unsurprisingly, eating ramen.

"How dare he? I told him I don't want her to have anything to do with ninjas!"

She's about to storm in when I grab her shoulder.

"Sakura, she's his daughter too. He has the right to talk to her, at least."

She glares at me and stomps off. Someone's gotten nasty. I decide to go in and see if I can join him. It's a weird thought to think of meeting my student's child. I remember when Naruto was just a little kid. No god like powers or dead friends. Ah, the good old days.

"Hello there you two."

Naruto looks up. "Kakashi sensei! How'd you find us?"

"I was just passing through. Is this Koyumi?"

"That's me!" The girl grins, laughing. She really does look like Naruto.

"Mind if I join you two?" I ask "I don't want to intrude."

"Of course! If I buy you ramen will we see your face?"

"Nope! The only people that have seen my face are either dead or sworn to secrecy, and the only thing that will again see my face is a plate of food." I smile. He never gives up.

"Let me introduce you guys" he says "Koyumi, this is Kakashi sensei. Kakashi sensei this is Koyumi, my daughter."

He says that last part with such pride in his voice, and such joy in his eyes. It makes me so happy that Naruto finally, really has a family. I only hope that he will be able to keep it.


	6. Chapter 6: Choices and Will

_I'M SORRY!_

_I know I haven't updated in, like, forever. It's not that I forgot about this story or anything. I was lacking inspiration, and went through some tough times emotionally and mentally. I'm working out of them now, though, and I'm going to try to be better with updating!_

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Sakura POV

I storm away from Kakashi. Who does he think he is, putting is masked nose in my affairs? I never asked them to come here, never asked them to derail my life. But seeing Naruto again….

Fine. I may have felt something romantic for him, a long time ago, before the war, before Sasuke's death. Not now. Not anymore. Certainly not on That Night. And now, seeing him here, I can't help but think of the times I almost loved him as more than a friend. At the tenchi bridge, when he lost control of Kyuubi when faced with Orochimaru. I was sure he was going to die that time, and I was more scared then I had ever been up until that point. However, when we saw Sasuke again soon after, all that faded. No matter what anyone said, or how many times the Uchiha hurt me, I couldn't let him go.

Now that I think about it, maybe that's why I left. When I slept with Naruto and found out I was pregnant, I remember feeling I didn't want to ruin the times we almost had. Or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better. He could have dealt with it. Koyumi would have a father.

I guess I really did just leave because I couldn't take the pain. Even just telling him Koyumi existed would be too much for my already broken heart. Just carrying and raising Koyumi has been incredibly painful. Sometimes I wish I had just put her up for adoption. Or even left her with Naruto. I just want to run away.

Of course I love her. I love her just as much as I love Sasuke, but that doesn't make it any easier. Every time I look at her I feel pain. I see in her everything I lost.

It hits me.

What if she went with Naruto? Lived in the Leaf? I know he would take her, and she has always wanted to go there, dreaming of being a ninja. The world is more peaceful now that Madara, Obito and the Akatsuki are dead, and the hidden villages are friendlier. She could have a good life.

And so could I.

Who am I kidding? The world is still dangerous. What if she becomes a ninja, goes on her first C rank, and gets taken by enemy ninja? Or caught up in some political scheme? Her comrades could betray her, and war is ever looming in this world.

I see a frighteningly familiar face in front of me, interrupting my thoughts. I almost scream, then I blink and I see who it really is.

"Sai."

"Sakura." He says blankly. "You thought I was Sasuke."

I start "Excuse me?!"

"You've got that look you always got when you would see me briefly and think it was him." He looks at me almost sadly.

"Whatever." I brush him off. "Are you going to lecture me too?"

"No." He replies. "To be honest, I wasn't terribly surprised. You've always been selfish and ignorant, at least as long as I've known you."

"That's not exactly a nice thing to say to me after so long."

"Well I'm not all that happy to see you. You did betray my best friend." He looks at me in that irritating, blank way of his. At least he isn't doing that dumb fake smile.

"I think betray is a bit of an exaggeration." I snap.

"Not really. You screwed him then ditched him after having been friends for nearly a decade. I don't need a book on friendship to tell me that's not good."

"You know what Sai? Shut up. You don't know anything about this. You don't know anything about love, or sadness, or heartbreak, or any god damn emotions in general! You have no right to tell me what to do!"

"It's been a long time, Sakura. I have a better understanding of emotions then I once did."

We stare at each other for a time. Well, he stares. I glare menacingly. Not that it makes a difference. He doesn't leave.

"What do you want, Sai? If you're not going to lecture me, and you aren't here to get all friendly, what do you want?"

"I'm curious. What do you plan to do now that Naruto knows about Koyumi? Are you going to run away with her? Or come back to the village?" He says.

"Neither. I'm never going back to that place as long as I live."

"So will you send her off with Naruto? He won't let you keep her so far from him."

"I don't want that girl becoming a ninja! I don't want her caught up in hate and war!"

Sai looks at me like I've grown another head.

"If it's war you're afraid of, she would almost be better off a kunoichi. At least then she could defend herself. Yes, there are risks. But do you really think Naruto would just let her go into it blind? He would train her himself, and make sure she knew what she was risking, without scaring her."

"Oh yeah? What if she gets taken to extract information by the enemy? I was a medic in the war; I saw what was done to some of those kunoichi." I spit.

"You think I didn't? Part of getting my emotions back is understanding the things I saw in ROOT. I saw these things happen too. In fact, sometimes I did the interrogating, and often did the killing. I never went so far as rape, but I didn't do any good to my victims."

"God damn it Sai, she's not your child! You have no right to be telling me what I should and shouldn't do with her!" I yell.

"No, but I do." Says a voice from behind me. I turn around, and see none other than Naruto himself, holding Koyumi's hand, looking at me sadly.

"You." I growl "You let go of her right now."

"No, Sakura." He says calmly. "You can't just hide her from me."

"And why not?! If I don't you'll just take her away from me!"

He looks stunned. "For god's sake Sakura, calm down! Do you realize how paranoid you sound right now? I'm not going to kidnap her! I just want to be with her!"

"Yeah, well, like hell I'm taking her to Konoha, and I doubt the up and coming hokage would spend much time here." I spit. "If she goes with you, she'll end up in the ninja academy. I don't want to watch her go through what we did!"

"Is that all you see it as Sakura? Suffering? Do you really not remember all the good times we had? Or did you stop enjoying anything after Sasuke died?"

I snort "I spent years training to bring him back. He was all I thought about! Of course I stopped enjoying anything!" I yell "I loved him more than anyone in the world!"

"I loved him too Sakura! Do you really think you're the only one? I LOVED him! I spent years casing him! It nearly killed me! How can you be so childish?!" Naruto yells, visibly upset.

"Momma, stop! You're upsetting daddy! I want to be a ninja, and I know it's dangerous! But I want to protect people, and you can't stop me!" Koyumi yells at me, tears in her eyes.

I stare at her, her big blue-green eyes full of anger. "Koyumi, don't you remember all those stories I told you? All those times you asked me about the Hidden Leaf, I would tell you all the terrible things that happened! How could you want to be there?!"

Koyumi looks me right in the eyes, the determination on her features making her a mirror image of Naruto. "Mommy, I know. I know all the things you told me about the bad stuff that happened. I've thought about it a lot, and I want to be a ninja to stop those things from happening! I want to protect people from stuff like that snake guy, or those Akatsuki guys, or whatever happened to that boy in the picture you cry about all the time! I want to help people mommy, and I will, no matter what you say!"

I look at her in shock. This is impossible. After all the horror stories I told her trying to push her from ever considering the ninja life, they just made her more determined.

"I see…."

I glance at her hand, which is clutching Naruto's.

"I understand now."

I give her one last look, and turn away. "You can stay with your father. Come collect your things tomorrow."

As I walk away, I can hear Koyumi's joyous shouts of "Daddy! I can stay with you!", and feel my ex teammates eyes digging into my back.

It doesn't matter now. Koyumi doesn't need me anymore, so I know what I must do.

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_Dun dun dun…._

_I was really unsure of what to do with Sakura. I asked my friend (the only friend I have who likes Naruto) and our ideas ranged from Sakura being a robot, being Sasuke in disguise, being an alien, committing suicide, and I believe the idea of hate sex was thrown in there. None of these will be used, however._

_Don't judge us. We came up with these ideas most either at lunch or in math class._

_ANYWAY moving on from our weird ass brains, I am going to try to respond to reviews! I may not respond to really super short ones, thought let me send out a thank you now, as I love them too!_

_As long as I don't fall back into a emotional wreckage where I can't function too well again, I'll update pretty soon!_

_Thanks! Please review._

_-Lynx_


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